Some time ago Destiny Image did a bit of a Strengthsfinder bonanza. Many of us got a copy of the book and took the test. The test is about 15-30 minutes long and asks a series of questions to determine what you’re good at (novel idea, as opposed to exposing your weaknesses), as evidenced by your resulting “Top 5 Strengths”.

When I got my results, they were very accurate. It was almost scary that my personality and thoughts could be summed up so well by a test (even if it did take them many years of research to come up with it).

More than that, the test confirmed something I’d always felt: I have conventionally antithetical traits.

My Top Five: Ideation, Restorative, Futuristic, Analytical, Deliberative.

They usually don’t co-exist peacefully, especially not in the same person. Essentially, my more right-brained qualities of ideation (ideas) and futuristic (vision) fight with my more left-brained qualities of restorative (problem-solving), analytical, and deliberative (decision-making).

In trying to bring order to these warring mental factions, I learned something important: due to the disparity between these qualities, I’ve been trying to process ideas, concepts, and beliefs through all 5 of these filters, trying to be the ideator, visionary, decision-maker, data-analyzer, and problem-solver of all my own stuff.

It’s just not possible. I’ve come to realize that I’ve been trying to complete myself through my own skills. Skills are never meant to all serve us in the same way. We may use them to solve our problems, but none of them can really be effective for all of our personal needs because we’re usually too close to an issue. Even if we have a particular skill, it doesn’t mean we can use it to meet my our own need. A surgeon may be great at what she does, but she can’t operate on herself. She needs another surgeon. Likewise, I may have restorative (problem-solver) traits, but I’ll probably need another person with that skill to help me because  my objectivity is impaired for that issue.

Now that I know, the next problem to solve is to learn exactly how to stop doing it, and recognize when I need someone else to complete me.

I guess this is just another way that God is using to take down my self-sufficiency. 🙂